CmdStore rates the best hip hop and R&B songs about superheroes

We took some of these jams from a master list by the ever-savvy Billboard, which was pretty thorough, but we realized that we would have to necessarily omit such god-awful regrettables like “Kryptonite” by 3 Doors Down. (We’d like to forget that such a shudder-worthy hard-rock grunge “revival” even happened near the end of the ’90s and beginning of the ’00s, wouldn’t you?) To narrow it down and broaden the discussion, we’ve decided to look at five hip hop and R&B songs referencing superheroes, rating them with corresponding grades.

So, here are a few songs that your favorite Marvel and DC superheroes just might boogie down to at a house party. (And can you imagine what that party would be like? Seriously, can we get an invite? Would Spider-Man drink light or dark beer? We have so many questions right now.) Let’s go!

1. Batman and Robin – Snoop Dogg feat. Lady of Rage RBX

Tha Doggfather injects a re-working of the classic Batman theme song with the trademark West-Coast gangsta swagger of a G-funk persuasion. A deep, plucky bass line adds Gotham-like seriousness with old-school comic-book kitsch, as Lady of Rage raps, “Hit ’em with the POW! BAM! BIFF! Whoa / Pick up your lips, don’t trip, tie your shoelace / When I spit, I split it, turn Harvey Dent into Two-Face / Robin, I’m more than a sidekick, I’m more like the livest”. Yes. All of the yes. We give this superhero jam an A-.

2. Superman – Eminem

Some of you may remember saving your allowance to buy The Eminem Show circa 2002, only to have it confiscated by your mom after she saw the “Parental Advisory” sticker and gasped at the violent, sexually-charged lyrics. Now I get why moms the world over did what they did, because it probably wasn’t cool that I could rap all of the f-words on the album at the age of 12. And I know I wasn’t the only one! This ditty is rife with gross, misogynistic lyrics, and essentially sees Marshall Mathers telling his lady that he can’t save her and be her Superman. That being said, The Eminem Show was very much a key work of 2000s rap, and represented an era in which Em broke down racial barriers for the genre. We give this superhero jam a C+.

3. Gotham City (Remix) – R. Kelly

R. Kelly is the king of pushing remixes that are way more bangin’ than their originals could ever hope to be (see: “Ignition”). The remix to “Gotham City” is no exception. The original song was, appropriately, on the soundtrack to the 1997 film Batman & Robin. But it was terrible. So sappy, so fluffy. Even the would-be futuristic sparse hi-hats were lost amidst the cheese. The remix is much more palatable. Here, we see spookier, notably more East-Coast-influenced production à la Mobb Deep’s The Infamous. The concept is “Gotham City for the ghetto”, as Kells croons, and longs for a utopia where he feels he can belong, in the vein of “Gangsta’s Paradise” and “Thugz Mansion”. For the extra effort and solemn relatability of the remix, we give this superhero jam a B.

There’s clearly something missing here — where are the songs about more obscure fandom characters?! Is the intersection of hip-hop artists and comic-book culture aficionado(a)s really that small? Perhaps Nicki Minaj rhyming about Harley Quinn and Rocket Raccoon is but a mere fantasy, but hey — a geek can dream, right?

Source: giphy.com

Source: giphy.com

Rocket Raccoon and classic 1966 Batman bust banks are here!

At long last, the much-loved furry and genetically engineered hero Rocket Raccoon from smash hit Guardians of the Galaxy is ready to hold onto your loose change with all of his might! The perfect character foil and partner-in-crime to the now-legendary Groot, pictured below, couldn’t be a better choice for one of Monogram’s next Marvel offerings.

And from DC, the classic 1966 Batman bank will not only safeguard those nickels and dimes, but will lend a nostalgic touch to any collection. Both vinyl bust banks are detailed enough that they look like mini-statues, but are playful enough to be right at home beside both your fine collectibles and on your bedside table.

Cop them both, because who knows? Maybe all of that spare change could one day help you buy an awesome Groot statue? Or an even bigger classic Batman?

Escape from Kyln! But don't let your change do the same. Escape, that is. (This is where you politely laugh.)

Escape from Kyln! But don’t let your change do the same. Escape, that is. (This is where you politely laugh.)

The essential Guardians of the Galaxy Rocket-and-Groot duo is coming to statue format

Who knew that an extraterrestrial plant being and a genetically and cybernetically enhanced raccoon would become the best of pals? After being captured by the Nova Corps, these bounty hunters escaped imprisonment from the Kyln with the help of Drax, Gamora and Peter Quill. Along with the other Guardians of the Galaxy, they worked around-the-clock to stop the evil Ronan dead in his tracks. And with Groot’s kind gesture in permitting Rocket to perch on one of his gnarled tree-shoulders, the raccoon hero is able to fire at any and all approaching enemies from an enviable position.

Due to popular demand and the wild fandom surrounding Groot and Rocket Raccoon, Gentle Giant have announced that they will release this amazing 1/4 scale statue in June of next year! We’re stoked and we think you will be, too. Reserve yours today.

Their facial expressions say it all -- part-time defenders of the universe, full-time best pals.

Their facial expressions say it all — part-time defenders of the universe, full-time best pals.

Rocket Raccoon rides Groot’s shoulder to victory

Say what? This statue is, in a word or two, absolutely fantastic. Depicting inseparable adventure duo and arguably two of the most beloved characters from Guardians of the Galaxy, this 5 inch ArtFX statue marks a pop culture era. Rocket Raccoon is primed for battle with a grimace and a bazooka, and Groot is his ever-enigmatic self, stoically leading his furry friend where he must go. Kotobukiya is to thank for this imaginative rendering. Grab it now!

Man crush Monday.

Man crush Monday.

Rocket Raccoon and Groot Guardians of the Galaxy Hot Toys

Rocket Raccoon Hot Toys

Marvel Studios takes fans to the cosmos in the action packed space adventure – with a group of two thugs, an outlaw, an assassin and a maniac! Since the movie’s first introduction, Rocket has been a breakout character, wanted on over 50 charges of vehicular theft and escape from lock up. The movie-accurate Rocket collectible figure is specially crafted based on his unique physique in the film featuring a finely sculpted head and body, with a specially tailored costume and weapon.

Release Date: March 2015.  Pre-book your favorite Guardians of the Galaxy now.

 

rocket raccoon

Build-A-Figure Rocket Raccoon Marvel Legends Figures

Build-A-Figure Rocket Raccoon Marvel LegendsWith Guardians of the Galaxy hitting theaters next summer and Hasbro touting 2013 as the year of the “Mini Build-A-Figure,” we assumed Rocket Raccoon was a pretty safe bet, and sure enough, there he is.  This little hero makes his Legends debut in three parts– Wrecker includes the head and gun, Black Panther the arms, and everything else comes with Jean Grey.    We sell the set of five different 6 inch figures but you can also buy them individually.

order red

MARVEL LEGENDS 2013 WAVE 2

The second wave of 2013 Marvel figures has arrived! Grab ’em all and you can build the Guardians of the Galaxy’s ROCKET RACCOON. Of course, the actual collection is an interesting one too, featuring Scarlet Spider, Black Panther and then two versions of Hawkeye, Wrecker OR Bulldozer and three iterations of Jean Grey. Order one of the variant figures and you get a random!

If you prefer, of course, you can also order them as a complete set, with random variants!