BlackBerries are still a thing, apparently

Up until a few years ago, I was a staunch anti-Apple consumer. I chuckled pompously at the sheep-like masses with small white buds buried in their ears as I listened to music on my phone. I rolled my eyes at the advent of the iPad, thinking it ridiculous that any person would need a computer and a weird handheld screen thingy. I dutifully plugged away on my six-year-old, virus-ridden and hopelessly slow HP laptop, thinking I was one of the valiant few doing humanity a favor. And then, with my tail between my legs, I became a convert to the Church of Apple. Once I made the switch to an iPhone, I never looked back. Now, you’ll almost always catch me with those little white plastic earbuds plugged into my head while I’m cruising Tumblr on my MacBook Air.

hm

The thing is, once I crossed over, I forgot about everything else. Namely, that people are still actually buying technology that, to Millennials, could be already considered obsolete, much like 2008 Miley Cyrus.

Pre-tongue, post-Nick Jonas bb Milez toting a BlackBerry Bold 9000. Lest we forget. Source: pinterest.com

Pre-tongue, post-Nick Jonas bb Milez toting a BlackBerry Bold 9000. Lest we forget. Source: pinterest.com

BlackBerries (BlackBerrys?) are. Still. A thing. At least this seems to be the case, seeing that a limited, black and gold edition of the new BlackBerry Passport (which sported a redundant and kind of lame side engraving that read “limited edition”) released today sold out within hours. Cute, I guess, but kind of a yawn, because this proves that BlackBerry, like every other smartphone with the exception of maybe the Samsung Galaxy, is just trying to keep up with Apple. I mean, just take a look at the “highlights” of November’s BlackBerry Classic, among which were “a good touch-screen”, “very fast Internet” and “a keyboard”. Really, BlackBerry? I’m pretty sure any human exiting the womb after 2000 comes implanted with those same features. You’re essentially bragging about being a functional cellular phone.

Source: crackberry.com

Source: crackberry.com

All questionable marketing language aside, Samsung recently offered to buy BlackBerry for up to $7.5 million, to which BlackBerry laughed, flipped its hair and said “We’re totally fine. Really, we’re fine.” Well, I guess we can sort of believe that when certain celebrities still swear by their BBs. Despite striking a deal with Samsung to sell his last album and the fact that he’s been seen using an iPhone, Jay-Z still mostly relies on an old-school BlackBerry to carry out the day-to-day duties necessary to his role of Mr. Beyoncé. He even lent some props to the ol’ dinosaur celly in last year’s collab track with Daft Punk “Computerized”: “Start macking on my BlackBerry / She got jealous / I was tapping on my BlackBerry.” All that this shows us is that the best thing that rhymes with “BlackBerry” is “BlackBerry”. And also that none of this ever actually happened because we all know that he isn’t macking on anyone, except maybe Bey, who is obviously incapable of mortal, bacchanal emotions like jealousy.

Essentially. Source: baconwrappedmedia.com

Essentially. Source: baconwrappedmedia.com

So BlackBerry, what are you even doing? Okay, I get it. Why should you listen to me, lowly ’90s baby with capricious tastes in technology and an irreverent, entitled, know-it-all attitude? You’re going to valiantly keep trying to remain competitive in the market as long as it’s profitable for you to do so. That’s great. That’s the beauty of Western capitalism. But it won’t last forever, BB. And when it ends, I’ll be here for you with a big tub of mint-chocolate-chip ice cream. And an iPhone 6.

Source: giphy.com

Source: giphy.com

(Psst! Tech geeks should check out our take on gaming with the iPhone 6 plus.)

Gaming on the iPhone 6 Plus — yea or nay?

If you’ve been breathing and/or have registered a pulse in the last month or so, you’ll know that the iPhone 6 has officially entered the realm of mere mortals. Thanks to the benevolence of the Apple gods, overnight lines, Chinese resale controversies and a totally, utterly ridiculous amount of hype are a few of the heavenly things to have accompanied its release. But one main question occupying the minds of tech-addict gamers is — will this make my life easier?

Kyle Russell of TechCrunch explains how the iPhone 6 Plus’s wider screen will decrease his necessity to keep switching between his phone, laptop and/or PlayStation Vita. “It’s actually a surprisingly good device for [gaming],” he says, while demonstrating with an iPhone 6 Plus propped up on a table. “It’s got a great screen, it’s powerful.”

Spider-Man Unlimited is one of the games he tests out. Likening it to Temple Run, Russell mentions that it’s “addicting gameplay that you can do one-handed.” No controller necessary here, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be used.

Consumers initially expressed concern that the bigger screen would make interacting with the device cumbersome with one hand, but Russell says that’s “perfect” for gaming. Lego: The Lord of the Rings is the second one he tests out, finding that the 6 Plus’s larger touchspace is perfect for two-handed gameplay when the device is used horizontally. “But at the same time, I feel like you’re missing out on having this giant 1080p screen,” he laments, which is understandable.

Ultimately, the bigger, wider iPhone 6 Plus is definitely more helpful to gamers. But there are, as always, sacrifices in image quality and “full” gaming experience when you’re playing on a hand-held screen. Either way, if you’re a gaming junkie and are due for a phone update, maybe the iPhone 6 Plus wouldn’t be the enemy.

Watch Kyle’s full video assessment here.

Source: engadget.com

Source: engadget.com