GEARS OF WAR – BUTCHER’S CLEAVER

If you’re looking to get your Gears of War turning, then grab this brutal Butcher’s Cleaver, a replica weapon you almost certainly need if you’re entering into an alien war. It’s a full 36 INCHES LONG, too, so you’ll even have the reach.

An insanely detailed foam replica of the Cleaver as seen in the new Gears of War game. Sure to be a popular melee weapon, the Cleaver is 3 feet in length and features a detailed diamond plate textured handle. Pretend you’re a Butcher Boomer or the heroic Marcus Fenix as you hold this mighty replica in your hands! Made of highly durable polyurethane foam, hand painted with battle worn deco!

Gears of War 3 Figures – SERIES 3 COMING SOON!

Pre-order now! Coming in June, we’ve got the third series of Gears of War 3 figures from NECA! Journey’s End Marcus (with gold lancer), Savage Theron (v1) and Savage Theron (v2) and a COG soldier make up this group, which you can snag individually or as a complete set. Each figure boasts the amazing detail and design you’ve come to expect both from the game and the geniuses at NECA. They join a still-growing line of 6-inch figures that will help fans with the wait for the inevitable fourth installment.

Stop Putting These Enemies In Games

If you’re a gamer, then you’ve already met these guys, but SomethingAwful breaks them down so well, that you just can’t help but feel vindicated in every button-mashing, controller-throwing rage.

There is a fine line between enemies that present a challenge and those that are simply annoying. Actually, that’s a lie. The line is pretty wide. Think about the gap between our fantasies when we first heard about motion controls and the horrible reality that came to pass. It’s that wide.

Some enemy archetypes have never been fun in any form, yet they keep popping up. Why? Maybe they’re easy barriers to put up between the player and the finish line, prolonging the playtime without enough consideration for the quality of the experience. Or maybe some developers just hate us.

Either way, games have been around long enough for us to collectively know better. Let’s get rid of these bad guys for good.

Teleporters

You’re hitting a dude, and he suddenly reappears somewhere else. Great. You know what that adds to combat? Probably not strategy. Probably not excitement. Definitely a few moments of finding him once again, possibly having to then walk across the screen for a few not-action-packed seconds, hoping he doesn’t teleport again.

This is made worse when the teleporting enemy has a wind-up animation which renders him temporarily incorporeal. Your options are to sit tight while he wastes more of everyone’s time or wail away at his invincible head out of pure frustration.

Guys With Enormous Shields

Option 1: The guy with the huge shield has a weak spot that you can attack from the front. His feet are sticking out. He has a conveniently open portal in front of his face the size of a tuna can. Whatever. He will otherwise be invincible, and the whole time you’re plinking away at the tiny vulnerable point, you’ll be thinking about how weird it is that he didn’t cover himself all the way.

Option 2: You have to get behind the guy with the huge shield and hit him from behind. Every single time. A bad guy that was presumably tossed into the mix to make things interesting has only added one more predictable and creatively restrictive element to combat.

If we’re going to have dudes with shields, make the shields smaller and require bad guys to dynamically move them in front of attacks as they maneuver in battle and engage us in other ways.

Tiny Enemy Swarms

Robo-frogs and robo-mosquitoes in Daikatana. Pygmies in Diablo 2. Duke Nukem Forever’s impregnators. Has anyone, anywhere, at any time, enjoyed fighting a swarm of small fast-moving enemies? No. Of course not. These are the video game equivalent of a laser pointer flickered across the ground in front of a cat. Only, somehow, more demeaning.

Guys With Regenerating Health

“You have to be kidding me. Now I have to hit him again? Why? Will he just get healthy a second time, or is there some trick I’m missing? Great, now he’s healing faster than I can hurt him. Maybe if I use this other attack… oh, he teleported. Of course.”

PREACH! Fortunately, few of these agonising tropes are really represented by the game’s merch (okay, a couple are). So if you’re looking for some awesome figures, then proceed with caution and check out our selection:

GEARS OF WAR 3 – Series 2

Damon Baird, Augustus Cole, Dominic Santiago are joining their roided-out brethren as new additions to Neca’s Player Select GEARS OF WAR figures. Fans of the game can snag these 7-inch figures now and get some of the very best, most-detailed video game toys being sold right now. They’re a great grab for any gamer and can be purchased individually or as a complete set of 3.

GEARS OF WAR 3: 36-Inch Butcher Cleaver

Looking for the perfect gift for the Gears of War fan in your life? Well, why not snag this awesome prop replica, the BUTCHER CLEAVER. It’s a whopping 36-inches long and looks to be ready for a fight. If you’re looking forward to next Halloween–or maybe just a Comic Con floor–then you’ll definitely want this one.

This is just one of the awesome products making up our complete GEARS OF WAR COLLECTION. If you’re into the game, you definitely won’t want to miss out on any of this stuff! The cleaver is now available for pre-order and will be shipping in November!

Gears of War 3 : New Figures Coming in September!

The latest series of GEARS OF WAR figures is shipping out in September of this year and you can pre-order ’em now! Marcus Fenix, Damon Baird and Clayton Carmine make up this first series of GoW3 figures and they all look great, highly-detailed, rendered faithfully to the game’s brilliant, complex and larger-than-life designs. If you’re a fan of armour, square jaws or maybe just the video game franchise, then this is definitely one collection you’ll want to get your hands on. Grab them individually or as a complete set and we’ll ship ’em out to you the moment they arrive!

Meanwhile, Microsoft is investigating the leak of the upcoming game, as you can read in this article from USA Today:

Microsoft is investigating the leak of an early build of the Epic Games shooter Gears of War 3, IGN reports.

Several videos of the game’s single-player campaign have reportedly surfaced on YouTube and other websites. The company says both its internal security teams and law enforcement are looking into the leak.

“This content is not from a final build and is not representative of what fans will enjoy when the game launches,” Microsoft says in a statement given to IGN.

Gears of War 3 is Microsoft’s first-party 2011 blockbuster for the Xbox 360. The game launches Sept. 20 and stars Marcus Fenix as he fights off waves of Locust and Lambent enemies.

The game will feature a revamped multiplayer mode and cooperative Horde mode, as well as a new match type called Beast mode, where players can take the role of a Locust enemy.