The funny thing about Drizzy is that there are few who are just indifferent to him. There exists a general trend wherein one finds themselves on one side or another of the polarizing Aubrey Graham Affection Spectrum* — you could be the type to have amassed his entire discography, have made a pillow cover from your “Would You Like a Tour?” concert tee, and have thought about how you’re going to propose to your significant other with that obscure track from So Far Gone. Or you’re the one who constantly mocks any and all of your Drake-listening male friends with borderline homophobic slurs, re-posted and/or liked all of those Degrassi memes when they came out, and insists upon self-righteously proclaiming to the rest of the world that you listen to ~real music~, which could be anything from De La Soul to Slayer for you, really. (A rare exception to these two sides is the Girl with the Drake Tattoo, who is just on another level that no one should attempt to reach. Ever.)
Fine, fine. So we exaggerate. And really, it’s okay if you’re not partial to Our Lord and Savior Drizzus Christ’s sonic offerings. They’re not to everybody’s liking. But can we deny the fact that, if certain actions of his are carefully inspected, he could essentially kind of be a Marvel superhero?
Hear us out.
1. Drake’s full of witty banter like Deadpool.
One of the most telltale characteristics of the red-suited Marvel anti-hero and mercenary is the clever badinage that he seemingly effortlessly taunts his victims with right in the thick of combat. We’re in on the joke with him, but the bad guys are just too dumb to get it — or they’re just preoccupied at that moment with hanging on to their lives by a thread. Much like ‘pool, Drake is known for his cheeky wordplay and onstage charisma, simultaneously flirting with his audience while decrying his “haters”. With some of the most topsy-turvy verbals in today’s R&B and hip hop (“Tell me, can we kick it like Ali Shaheed and Phife Dawg / People really hate when a backpack rapper get rich and start livin’ that life, dog”), he’s the author of now-infamous phrases embedded into the social consciousness (see: “YOLO”, for which he has apologized, and “0 to 100”, the cry of bucket-hat-clad dudes everywhere). He’s adept, to say the least. I wonder if he or Deadpool would win in a rap battle?
There you have it — very, very reputable proof that Drake is, indeed, a Marvel superhero. Do you agree? Leave us a comment below!
* definitely a real scientific science developed by sciencey scientists.