Sideshow’s Storm Shadow Figure and Some Less Impressive Ninjas

Sideshow’s impressive work on all of their figures generally impresses, but sometimes they have works that seem to stand out in a crowd and this Storm Shadow figure is surely among them. Sideshow always shines when their figures’ elaborate outfits are the type that cover all the joints, which adds a level of realism difficult to attain when your character’s elbows have obvious plastic pegs. He stands 12 inches all told and boasts the following features:

* Fully articulated Prometheus male body with 30+ points of articulation
* Storm Shadow masked portrait
* Storm Shadow unmasked portrait
* Sashes with pockets
* Forearm Bracers
* Leg wraps
* Quiver
* Bow
* Arrows
* Ninja stars
* Long sword with scabbard
* Short sword with scabbard
* Nine interchangeable hands
* 12-inch display base with G.I. Joe logo

Of course, with Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes as the resident ninjas over in the world of G.I. Joe, one wonders when we’re going to find ourselves either rallying behind or at the mercy of some actual ninjas. Judging from an article over at Cracked.com, though, it’s going to be a while yet. Here’s an excerpt from their article “8 Amazing Stories of Ninja Failure”.

8. The Connecticut Ninja

The ninja is a creature of stealth and subtlety; he is a shadow that lives; a whisper in the night; a… guy screaming on a street corner and waving nunchucks around? A man in Vernon, Connecticut was arrested for loudly and repeatedly threatening to “beat up” Senator Joe Liebermann while dressed entirely in a black ninja outfit and brandishing a pair of nunchucks… at 11 o’clock in the morning.

What They Did Right:

Liebermann is an appropriate ninja target. He’s a famous turncoat–rich and reviled by the local peasants–but the appropriate ninja approach would be to sneak into his house, or ambush his caravan, or… send him nasty glances at a party and tell people his shoes look fat, or pretty much anything besides standing on a street corner at lunchtime and hollering about beating him up.

What They Did Wrong:

The black outfit is a staple of the ninja mythos: It conceals the ninja, making him one with the night. It is beautifully simple camouflage. However, its stealthy nature does not function at certain times . Those times are:

A. In Connecticut
B. 11 o’clock in the morning.
C. While screaming.

Also, police report that the subject was “belligerent and furious” until they pulled out bean bag guns and tasers, at which point the ninja in question “became polite and cooperative.” Man, if you’re just a ninja so long as nobody launches a hacky-sack into your junk at 200-mph, then you, sir, are no ninja.

Read the rest here.